First give yourself a rank. Call yourself something like ‘Reverend’
Then you start preaching that you can cure anything – AIDS, you can make cripples walk, you can bring the dead back to life. Tell whoever will listen to you that you can raise the dead. They wake up from their graves and start dancing the rhumba, samba, sindimba or something.
Just believe in your lies and they will believe in whatever song you sing.
Then after two months promote yourself to archbishop and say Haleluhya everytime.
Never forget that there is a sucker born every minute in this world. They will believe whatever you say. It is good business, i mean the religion business.
Call your business, the Full Nondo Gospel Church. No body will realise the fishy name. It pays. Just don’t forget to say Haleluhya a lot.
And when you get a crowd of worshippers, announce that you will run for parliament. By that time you will have all those titles. You could call yourself prophet. So your name will be Dr. Prophet Nicodemus (MP) of the Full Nondo Gospel Church!
Then you can make money from the church and from the politics.
Mjini hapo, maisha ni akili, na akili ni nywele.